Body Image and Pregnancy

Hello wonderful readers,

As many of you know, I am pregnant and due in February 2019. This is our first child and we are so excited to welcome our little boy into the world soon.

I have been reading all things pregnancy and baby related, but something I have not stumbled across is moms openly discussing their self-esteem or body image during pregnancy.

I have shared a few posts on my pregnancy and that I am feeling well. Every day is vastly different feeling wise, but I would still consider myself lucky. I didn’t experience morning sickness of crazy food cravings, but I do experience other symptoms such as round ligament pain, swollen feet, low back discomfort, and something more recently, low body image and self-esteem.

Knowing and seeing your body grow a human life is truly a gift from God. It’s amazing what the human body is capable of and being pregnant has shown me the miracle of forming life. It’s honestly pretty freaking amazing when you stop and think about it.

I do not want to discredit the miracle of life forming within me currently, but I do have some reservations to my changing body. I have struggled with low self-esteem and body image concerns prior to being pregnant, but these feelings have been accelerated during my pregnancy journey, especially recently now that I am in my second trimester.

I recently shared photos of my growing son and me holding different fruits and veggies to represent his size. I do enjoy seeing my progress and sharing my development, but pregnancy is not always unicorns and rainbows.

Giving up my body has been difficult. Seeing it change daily causes my body image to sink into depths I have not yet experienced. Before being pregnant myself, I never would have thought I would feel this low abut my body. I worked extremely hard to keep my physical body moving, fine tuned, and positively progressing, and I had to give it up and “embrace the process” as I grow this healthy boy.

When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in January 2017, I was furious with my body. I was angry my immune system was overactive and attacking the protective layer in my brain around my nerves. I was pissed off that I wasn’t able to move and do things that I used to do. The relationship I had with my body back in 2017 was not a good one, but I slowly began to build myself back up through movement, meditation, hard work, and lots of prayer. I exercised daily, sometimes multiple times a day (when I was feeling up to it). I made a positive dietary change that has caused me to be mindful of the foods I am consuming. I drank only liquids that would fuel my mending process. I was healing my body from the inside out during this time and now I feel that my pregnancy has brought me back to my negative body image and self-esteem.

Areas of the body are changing, stretching, and expanding in places I never thought I would see. This is the reality of pregnancy and some can say “you are gaining weight for the baby, you should be happy to do this for your soon to be son.” I am happy to give my son the best possible place to grow, but that doesn’t take away my feelings of negativity when I look in the mirror in the morning. Yes, my baby bump is cute. Yes, I am so thrilled and excited to be having a son shortly. Yes, I would give and do anything do him. But my negative feelings still persist.

Does this make me a bad mom? No, it doesn’t. It makes me a real life human being with feelings that are true to me. I know other woman have experienced these sensations before, but it’s not discussed openly enough – I would love to change and break the silence around this difficult topic.

Ladies, we are so incredibly strong to give up our bodies to form a human. We are powerhouse woman that create and deliver life. We don’t give ourselves enough credit for that and others around us might not either, but know you are a superhero without (or maybe with) a cape!!

If you are currently pregnant, were recently pregnant, have had children recently, or had children many moons ago, you might have experience feelings such as the ones I have expressed. If you didn’t, good for you, more power to ya! But if you have, know these feelings do not make you a bad mom. These feelings are not ones you should feel guilty about. Your baby didn’t ask if you were okay giving up your body, but you did to give them the best life possible. Your baby is thriving and living life because of you.

As I continue to have negative feelings about my body and self-esteem, I know these feelings are temporary and will not hang around forever. But, they are currently present and I am trying to recognize the journey of pregnancy is not always smiles and cute bump pictures – There is a great deal more behind the scenes – sometimes great, and sometimes not so great.

If you have had a similar experience such as this (pregnancy or not pregnancy related), I would love to hear your insight and what worked for you. TANCKS for reading!