Life Lessons From a First Time Mama

Here are a few life lessons I would like to pass along from one first time mama to another:

-Ask for help and accept it when it’s offered.

-No baby has ever died from crying, so if you need to set the baby down (safely) and take a moment to yourself, please do. Know there are resources to call as well if you are needing outside help – you aren’t alone.

-When you think you have had enough water, drink more (especially if you are nursing!)

-When someone offers to make you a meal or bring food – take them up on it. You (and your stomach) will be glad you accepted this (yummy) gift!

-Be mindful of the energy you are emitting when you pick up your crying baby. If you are angry or frustrated, pause, and see if you can switch your energy and thoughts to be loving and nurturing. Our babies can be impacted by our energy when we are with them, so put yourself in their little shoes. Go through the list: Are they hungry? Need to be changed? Do they need playtime? Are they overtired? Are they overstimulated? Breathe as you are going through these and know you are helping your baby so much by remaining calm and sending them positive energy. -Babies can get overstimulated easily, so don’t be afraid to turn down visitors if your baby is giving you signs they need rest. Heck, turn down visitors if YOU need rest. You aren’t being rude, you are doing what is best for you and your baby!

-Sleep when your baby sleeps, the dishes and laundry can wait. Be an outfit repeater and don’t feel ashamed of it! Sleep deprivation is a real thing and no one is happy on little to no sleep. You can even nap when you have someone meeting your little one. Your true friends will not care if you need to rest while they meet your precious baby, so go sleep mama!

-Eat healing foods, but know it’s okay to eat something else if your body is calling for it. If you have decided to nurse, you need TONS of calories to keep your supply up, so please eat and go eat again!

-Listen to your body – it knows what it wants and needs. We so often ignore it and this is not the time to overlook the signals your body is sending to you. If your body is telling you to take a walk outside, go for the walk. If your body is saying I need to lay low, stay in your PJ’s and rest!

-There is no rush to return to your pre-pregnancy weight, you grew a human for Pete’s sake. Get yourself some new clothes if that’s what you need to feel better and not try to squeeze into your “pre-baby” jeans. Negative internal self talk can creep in, so find clothes you feel good in. You are beautiful mama, never forget that!

-Mom guilt is a real thing, so please, please PLEASE, do not be so hard on yourself. You are doing a great job mama!

-If “all” you do in a day is feed your child and yourself, it’s been a productive day!

-Have several new mamas you can talk to for advice – there are even online groups you can join that are non-judging and offer support for any questions that can arise.

-Talk to other adults throughout the day, especially when your other half returns to work. Listen to uplifting music, podcasts, etc. Just hearing other voices helps!

-It’s okay to cry as much as your new born, hormones are still pumping through you. So cry when you need to cry mama! Also know there are people around to help you if you need them.

-Breast feeding is no joke!!! It’s a beautiful connection, but I mean why is no one talking about how hard it is!?!? Please use lactation consultants whenever possible – they are an amazing resource. -If you are not nursing and using formula, please do not feel like less of a mother. As long as your baby is fed and healthy, that is all that matters!!!

-Taking a shower and getting into clean clothes will make you feel like a WHOLE NEW WOMAN!! If taking a shower isn’t in the cards, putting on deodorant can have the same effect. -Don’t apologize or defend what is working for you and your family. What works for you someone else can scrutinize. As long as it’s safe, you have confirmed it with your doctor, and it’s working for you, continue to do it. People can be so rude and give unsolicited advice in the mama world, so don’t beat yourself up. The response of the person belittling you shows you more about them than yourself.

-Don’t apologize for calling pediatrics or the nurses who helped you deliver your baby often (I mean multiple times a day). If you have a question, ask it! Give yourself peace of mind and talk to someone who is trained and can help you. Put the healthcare phone number on your speed dial if that’s what you need! That is what these amazing people are there for – to help you!

-Find a soothing playlist to play for your baby when they sleep – we like night rain on Spotify and play it using our Alexa. It doesn’t have to be quiet when your baby sleeps, make some noise so they can sleep through different sounds.

-Lean on your partner and check in with one another to see how you are doing – as parents, as a couple, as human beings. It takes so many people to raise a baby, so please talk to others about how you are REALLY doing.

-What works one day, might not work the next and what works for one baby might not work for all babies. Try new things and get creative. Read online resources and don’t be afraid to try switching up what you are doing. -Babies don’t need to be in the greatest, most trendy outfits. They love life in whatever you put them in, so don’t stress about making them look “photo ready” every single day. If you enjoy dressing your baby up, then do it! Do what makes you happy.

-Sing, read, and dance with your baby – this keeps them occupied and is fun for everyone involved.

-Take some time for yourself. Go get a haircut, your nails done, a massage, get coffee with a friend. Do something for you – self care is never selfish! You need to refill your cup so you can go back and be the best mama and partner ever! -Your body, no matter how you delivered, needs time to heal after birthing that beautiful life force you grew. Please remind yourself you are gorgeous, worthy, and a strong woman. The healing process will take longer than you think, so be patient with yourself. I promise you that you will heal. If there are things going on that don’t seem “normal” call a healthcare professional.

-Honor each stage. Babies grow and change so quickly – pause, breathe, and just be with your little one. Lastly, you can never hear these words enough: You are doing a great job! You will get through this, I promise! This too shall pass. You are strong and beautiful! I love you!!! If you or a new mama needs to read any of these life lessons, I would love for you to pass this post along! Sharing is caring.