Surviving my First Year of Motherhood

Yes, the title of this post is surviving my first year of Motherhood because that’s truly what it is; surviving.

If you blessed to be a mother, you know that motherhood is not an easy role.

It takes everything within you to be a good mother.

You give away pieces of your heart and soul every day as you care and raise your children.

Whether you have children yourself, are a step parent, adopted a child, host a child, care for others children, or positively influence children (and identify as a woman); you are a mother.

Having and caring for Micah during the first year of his life was the hardest, most fulfilling year yet.

I am writing this post today for any mothers out there who are in, entering, finishing, or reliving this chapter.

I by no means have all of the answers, because that is not humanly possible. I am simply sharing the “recipe” that worked for our family and passing it along.

Here it goes: How I survived my first year of motherhood.

1. Find support – loved ones, family members, friends, co-workers, fellow mothers, anyone you trust and lean on them. Motherhood is a tornado of emotions, good and bad, and having others around you who support you is a must. I found friends who have children around the same age as my son to talk to and discuss what we were going through. Everything from nursing, developmental stages, emotional well-being, etc. I talked to them about it and felt safe and supported.

2.Laugh it off & drop the plan – the idea of having a plan is humorous to me currently as I know it will not go as planned.

My best example of this happened when Micah was around three months old. We were going to meet a friend for lunch and I set a time in my head that we had to leave the house by. I just finished nursing Micah and we had fifteen minutes to be out the door in order to arrive on time for our lunch. After nursing, I burped Micah just to have him throw up all over the outfit he was to wear out. I went to change him just to have him pee all over himself and me. I had to change him (again) and change myself. We were now a few minutes behind and Micah decided to look up at me and blow out his diaper and wreck his shirt and pants. I went to change him (again). We were loaded in the car and I turned around to see I forgot his diaper bag and milk in the house. So we went back and forth until we had everything we needed to leave the house. We were now thirty minutes late, but we were adamant to get out of the house for the day. So laugh it off, and drop the plan.

3. Ask for help and take it – I am not sure why we think we need to be super-humans and do everything ourselves. We need help raising humans. This journey wasn’t meant to be handled alone and there are so many people around us that are willing to help out, but we first must ask.

When a baby is born it is common that family and friends want to come see and meet the little baby. Once the baby gets a little older, visitors become less frequent. This is when we as parents need to ask for help when we need it. If the baby isn’t sleeping, if you haven’t eaten a home cooked meal in weeks, or if you need an uninterrupted shower, ask for help. It can be family, friends, co-workers, etc. Choose someone you know and trust and be honest with what you need. You will be pleasantly surprised to see their response.

4. Don’t try to know all of the things – There is so much information out there on “the right way” or “the best way” to parent, but do what seems natural to you and what will be best for your family. We are all different, we were all raised differently, and we all have different ideas on how we want to raise our children. Do what is best for you and stay strong.

5. Babies don’t need the most expensive toys, they need love – Don’t waste your hard earned money on shiny toys or items that marketers are selling you. Babies can keep themselves occupied by items that aren’t toys. My son makes his own toys and gets creative with items that are safe within his environment. His favorite toys aren’t actually toys, a box that a package came in, my water bottle, my husbands foam roller, and books. Have fun and get creative with your baby. They need you and your love more than anything that can be purchased in a store.

6. Find time for you – you read that right. As parents, we need to find ways to find time for ourselves. It’s easy to become consumed by the role of a parent, but we need to give back to ourselves and do something that brings us joy. Maybe it’s physical exercise, art, reading, writing, cooking, meeting a friend for coffee, or going on a date with your significant other. Find what fills you up and give yourself time to be you. Taking off the “parent hat” can be hard. Sometimes it might feel as though you are being selfish or you should be with your little, but you need time away to recharge and be fuller than when you left.

7. Have fun and be present– This goes along with laughing it off. Find joy and joyful moments in being a parent. Not all aspects of the role are rainbows and sunshine, but the moments that are, soak them in fully. Babies grow up so fast. In a blink of an eye my son went from a baby who didn’t have his eyes open to a boy who is walking, talking, and self sustaining. Parents everywhere tell us all how fast it goes. So instead of wishing parts of parenthood away, embrace them, be fully present, and love them.

It’s a blessing to be a parent.

It’s a blessing to raise a child.

It’s a blessing to love and be loved by your children.

If I can do anything to support you or someone you know who is a new parent, or parent, know I am here.

I do not have all the answers and I am still learning. But we are better together and I am here to offer support and my heart in any way possible.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time.